sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
So squirting runs in the family.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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