What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
