i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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