he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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