yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
