talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
