They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
