I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize