this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
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i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
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What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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