i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
