My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
