I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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