SEEEEXXX PLEASE
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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