A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
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Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
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We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize