it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
high people should be assigned attendants
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
