Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
