some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Randomize
