thus making me awesome and them whores
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
