this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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