Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
