Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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