he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
