its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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