Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize