She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
