People in love make me want to vomit
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It was like getting head from an anaconda
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
