guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
