thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize