well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
