i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
