But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I have already put on my inside pants.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
