Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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