Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
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We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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