i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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