What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
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we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
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And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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