I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
