I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
