He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
