dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
