summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
birth control should be required to get into college
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
