When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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