He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
