You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
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you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
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That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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