The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.