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Me too!
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Randomize
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