the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I woke up under a house in Key West
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