420 ftw
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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