I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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