I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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