Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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