i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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