I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
