I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
