He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
this hospital has no fireball
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
